For This Child I Have Prayed.....1 Samuel 1:27

Awww.........last day of Mommy and Lanie time, back to work on Monday.  So bittersweet!  I have to leave one child, but get to go with another....not sure what to think about that.  Grateful and sad all rolled up into one.  It has been wonderful being at home with her, but I know life must move forward and part of that is work.  I'm feeling very thankful today though to have a job that I love and I'm very passionate about.  Also, Braxton is so excited for me to be coming to school with him that it almost makes me excited too.  So....to my students - I'm coming back!  Get ready, there is so much to learn!......to Braxton - Mama can't wait to see you in the hallways and steal a quick hug to help get me through the day.....and to Lanie - I will soooooo miss our naps and snuggles and may you always know that the best part of my school day is coming home to you.

For the Out-of-Towners

Just when you least expect it.....life throws you a wonderful twist of fate.  Lanie Faith was born July 8, 2011 at 6:09 am.  She is yet another great blessing that has been given to me.  Just when I had stopped trying to even consider that I might have another child, God decided I should.  She has been so unexpected and a wonderful rollercoaster for our family.  Little did I know it takes some getting use to adjusting to a family of four instead of three, but I wouldn't miss this journey for the world.  In light of that, I've decided to begin blogging again (yes thank you Katy and Brooke for inspiring me to do so).  This will be my attempt to keep all of my friends and my family who are out of town (and there are a lot of you) in full disclosure of what in the world is going on with us.  Hopefully this will also serve as a great diary (so to speak) of our family life as well.  So here goes.........

It's a New Day

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears. Kahlil Gibran

So I've read this book, I Will Carry You by Angie Smith, and I had a thought as I cried through almost every page. I forgot a lesson that was already given to me....although you may not like the things that are handed to you in your life, it is those things that were designed for YOU by HIM. I may not understand it, like it, or want it, but this journey although there are countless others like me in this world, was specifically meant for me. So I've decided I will finally accept this course, not with tears and anger, but with simply acceptance. I will look to him for guidance and see where he takes me. By the way......I love Slip n Slides....grass and all!

Money

So I have to be honest, I'm pretty down today. I had my consultation with the financial person from the infertility clinic. Got all the final $$$ amounts. It seems such an odd thing to me using the word baby and $ in the same sentence. I mean if you've ever felt the feeling of holding your baby and watching them laugh or sleep....how do you put a price on that? I guess in my world that's exactly what someone's asking me to do. Put a price on exactly how much I want a child. The problem is I can't.

SNOW!!

There's nothing like a snow day, a phone call from a friend, and an awesome Sunday sermon to remind you of what you have. Thank God for my son and all of our family and friends!

Information that was helpful......somewhat

We had our first real answers on Tuesday of this week from a specialist that my friends referred me to. His name is Dr. Peter Ahlering of the Sher Institute in St. Louis. He is very knowledgable in the field of infertility and I really got a sense from him that he was the best we were going to find. When I say we got answers from him, what I really mean is we got what I had expected. He told us there was nothing wrong with us and that the only real way to increase your chances of having a baby is to do In-Vitro. AAAAAHHHHHH! So frustrating!

So it begins....

I decided to post these blogs as an outlet with the desire that others in our same situation might find information, a common bond, or simply hope. We began this journey a year and a half ago. We decided like most other couples we would try for a second. I grew concerned after about 6 months because my son came along so quickly. We have been through 2 regular OB/GYNs and 2 specialist in infertility. Still no luck.....